Why I Was Different
by RedCaroLine11
Summary: Ruby realizes how she really feels about Sam. Takes place after Dean dies. Oneshot. Ruby's POV


**HI!! I was bored and thought about what it would really be like to be Ruby, to be a demon from her POV. I've always liked the idea of Ruby and Sam together and this just came to me. **

**Hope ya like it!!**

Why I was Different

Ruby's POV

I stared down at the man I was protecting. The only hope for the Resistance—the few others like me who hated what we were, what we had become. I didn't know why I was like this, why I cared so much.

I didn't want to. I wanted to feel the hate—that burning hatred that the majority of us felt. To feel the desperate need for control over the humans, those insignificants that were so easy to control.

It would be so much easier, conforming to everything the others were built from. Easier than being the minority, the one's trying to stop it, to save what was left of the world.

But I couldn't do it without Sam, and it was getting harder and harder to protect him, to keep him safe from the things he was so accustomed to fighting.

He knew what they were capable of, had seen what had happened to his own father and brother. But he was never careful enough, I was constantly saving his ass and I knew I couldn't keep it up. They would catch me soon. And without Dean there to keep Sam in check, he would be killed easily.

No matter how good a fight he would put up, they would take him. It was my duty to train him, to ready him for the war. That was all that really mattered, the battle between Us and Them. The Demons, the Hunters, and the ones like me—that were a mix of both.

I glanced down at him sleeping soundly in the dimly lit hotel room. He had earned this rest. We had been training all day and afterward he'd killed two spirits single-handed when I'd left. He always asked where I went when I wasn't with him, what I did when he was hunting average spirits.

If he only knew.

He rolled over as the sun that was now high in the sky broke through the film of dust covering the window. He rubbed his tired eyes and stared up at me. I smiled at him without humor.

I dreaded looking at his sleep-deprived face after knowing it was my training that did this to him. Ever since Dean had died Sam wasn't the person he used to be, not that I could blame him, I couldn't imagine the pain he was going through.

It had been months since it happened, but I knew that Dean was all he ever thought about. That lovingness that Sam possessed, the ability to relate to people so well, had dimmed in the light of his brother's death. But I knew it was still there, hidden by the heavy emotion that was always there in his eyes.

He had a strange affect on me and I was coming to realize that my hidden feelings of compassion, covered by what I had long ago become, were resurfaced when I was with him. Especially when he was so vulnerable like this.

He sat up, hair standing up in all places, and groaned.

"What time is it?" he asked his voice husky from sleep.

"Nine thirty." At my words he immediately started to clamber out of bed.

'Wait." I said. "I decided you deserved to sleep in. You've worked hard this week."

He stared at me in awe. It was extremely out of character of me to be so lenient, but it was something about how…adorable… he looked with his hair so messy and his expression so confused.

He smiled and stood up, stretching. He wore only a pair of pajama pants and I couldn't help but allow my eyes to rake over his toned body.

I had no idea what was coming over me, this wasn't like me, I'd never noticed Sam this way. He was nothing more than a human after all.

But as he walked to the bathroom to take a shower, I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way about me. Or if I was merely some demon to him. Hell, I better be more than just a demon. I've saved his ass countless times, that had to mean _something._

Damn it, why was I thinking like this?

I sat on the other bed, untouched because of my lack of ability to sleep, and waited for Sam. I had no idea what I was going to do or say, but I had to know. I had to figure out if this was all just my imagination. The shower cut off and Sam returned minutes later, fully dressed but still looking dead on his feet.

I stayed where I was, staring intently into his deep brown eyes.

"Ruby, I know I look awful but is it really _that _bad?" he asked confused by the way I was acting. I stood up and walked over to him, my eyes never leaving his. I decided to come right out and ask him.

"Sam, how do you feel about me?"

His expression remained puzzled as he answered,

"What do you mean Ruby?"

"Do you just think of me as some demon who's doing you a favor?" My eyes flashed coal black, catching him off gaurd.

"Of course not. Yeah the training kind of sucks but it's really not that bad. I think it's amazing what you're doing, helping me like this. Ruby you know how I feel."

I sighed, my eyes shifting back to their natural color. "No, I really don't. I don't mean as a trainer and I don't mean as a demon." I turned away from him and walked back across the room.

"Ruby, is something wrong? You're not usually like this." he said coming up behind me. He tugged on my arm, pulling me around to face him.

I acted on impulse, as an experiment, at least that's what I told myself. But as Sam turned me around and I and reached up to press my lips to his, I realized that I'd wanted this.

He was still at first, shocked by my actions, but quickly placed his warm hand on my chin, pulling me into him. He kissed me deeply—passionately—and I could feel the heat of his breath in my mouth as he pulled me closer with his other hand on my waist.

My own hands were tangled in his wet hair, yearning for him to be closer though we were already molded together. I could feel his heart beating rapidly, and I knew if my heart was still active it would be thudding soundly in my chest. Much too soon he pulled away and stared into my eyes, both of us breathing erratically.

"Ruby…how long have you felt this way?" he asked me quietly.

I thought back through the year and a half I had known him.

"I'm not sure. I think I've felt it for a wile." I said slowly, wondering if he would return these feelings. I waited for what felt like ages for him to say something and when he continued to remain silent, I spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean…" but he cut me off by kissing me again.

This kiss was slower, less urgent, and very sweet. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time." he admitted and relief washed through me as he spoke the words I so desperately wanted to hear.

I smiled as I realized that Sam was what made me different. He was the reason I'd crawled out of hell to start with and he was the reason I would stay.

I knew why I was different.

I'd found something the other power-hungry demons never could.

I'd found love.

**Awwww!! I know it's kinda fluffy but I thought it was sweet!! **

**Review and tell me what you think!!**

**ReD HeAd**


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